Showing posts with label Daily Phone Call. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daily Phone Call. Show all posts
Monday, August 15, 2011
Chapter 38: But... I... Ummm... HUH?
"Timon" would be home Saturday! I couldn't wait! We talked about seeing each other Sunday, after he'd had a chance to settle in. Finally! A decent man to spend a little time with!
Sunday came, and when I finally heard from "Timon," late in the afternoon, he was out and about, running around, and heavily distracted. I didn't even want to ask if we'd be getting together. It was obvious he either didn't have the time, or just didn't want to. I'll admit, I hung up confused and upset. For three weeks he had been diligent in calling me everyday, and now, when we were finally in the same city at the same time, he had no time for me? How did this happen?
Well, take a step back. He had a life, too. Perhaps I should give him a little room to breathe. He'd been out of town for a good while. There might be things he had to tend to that were taking a couple of days of playing "catch up" to put them right again? Tuesday was his birthday, so when Tuesday came I sent him a text message on his phone, wishing him a fun day. No response. I tried to call, and got his voicemail. This was ridiculous. I'd had enough. Not only was it pointless to try to figure these men out, I was damn tired of doing it.
The FOLLOWING weekend I finally heard from him. He said he went to Virginia to visit a friend and CLAIMED to have left his phone at home. Games. I didn't have time for this. If he didn't want to see me, that's fine. But why take off to Virginia to see friends without even mentioning it to me?
Two weeks ago I had five men chasing after me, and now there wasn't one I should even condescend as to give the time of day to. I wanted to give up. It was hardly worth the effort anymore.
Sunday came, and when I finally heard from "Timon," late in the afternoon, he was out and about, running around, and heavily distracted. I didn't even want to ask if we'd be getting together. It was obvious he either didn't have the time, or just didn't want to. I'll admit, I hung up confused and upset. For three weeks he had been diligent in calling me everyday, and now, when we were finally in the same city at the same time, he had no time for me? How did this happen?
Well, take a step back. He had a life, too. Perhaps I should give him a little room to breathe. He'd been out of town for a good while. There might be things he had to tend to that were taking a couple of days of playing "catch up" to put them right again? Tuesday was his birthday, so when Tuesday came I sent him a text message on his phone, wishing him a fun day. No response. I tried to call, and got his voicemail. This was ridiculous. I'd had enough. Not only was it pointless to try to figure these men out, I was damn tired of doing it.
The FOLLOWING weekend I finally heard from him. He said he went to Virginia to visit a friend and CLAIMED to have left his phone at home. Games. I didn't have time for this. If he didn't want to see me, that's fine. But why take off to Virginia to see friends without even mentioning it to me?
Two weeks ago I had five men chasing after me, and now there wasn't one I should even condescend as to give the time of day to. I wanted to give up. It was hardly worth the effort anymore.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Chapter 33: Hoo Boy, ANOTHER?
I was contacted by "Slim" while I was at work that day. We started Instant Messaging and I just couldn't resist. He was a bit younger, 29, but he was a lawyer in his own practice and he was 6' 5", which completely turned me on.
He asked me out for that night, and I had to say "no," of course, because I already had a date with "Kawena," but I just couldn't say no and agreed to meet him the following night. I felt like I wasn't taking ANY of this seriously, but then again, I argued with myself, why did I have to take it seriously? Wasn't the point to have fun?
I met "Kawena" for dinner at Barnacle's. We sat outside on the deck, as the July weather was more than gorgeous. The first thing I realized was that he didn't look at all like I expected him to. He wasn't unattractive, by any stretch of the imagination. But all of the pictures he had posted were taken from somewhat far away, and he just looked different than I expected. Dinner, however, was great! Easy flowing conversation, no lulls, and constant laughter. I'll admit, though, that I felt insecure. Which, for those of you who have been following, is not like me at all. Was it my own insecurity, or was I picking up a vibe from him? I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Was I not pretty enough? Not thin enough? Not classy enough? Maybe I just wasn't enough of a Buckhead princess for him? I unconsciously found myself attempting to impress him, sitting with my back straight, legs crossed, and not being too open.
What was I doing? This wasn't me! I never try to be someone I'm not when I meet someone new. While I will admit that there was a part of me that wanted to impress him, there was also a part of me that made me uncomfortable to the fact that I felt unworthy to this man. He wasn't exactly "all that," and I had no intention of becoming pretentious just for his sake.
I didn't even have to try. He admitted before we called it a night that he wasn't attracted to me. So, the vibes I was feeling weren't so far off. Was he not attracted to me because he felt my insecurity? I had a hard time believing that, considering how many dates I'd been on. Reacting insecurely must have been a result of something I was feeling from him. However, my bruised ego needed a boost as I drove home. I needed a booty call. Damn, why did "Timon" have to be traveling this week? Damn, "Aladdin" was traveling, too. Wasn't there anyone else?
"Basil." I didn't even want to give myself time to think about it. I called, he was home, and I weaseled an invite over out of him. His place was modest. Half of a duplex. But he owned it and normally had the other side rented out. He offered me wine and we played with his cat. Too much time had passed, and my inhibitions were taking over. I couldn't make the move. In the kitchen, on a wine refill, he pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss me. My inhibitions instantly dissolved and I allowed him to lead me into his bedroom. He was extremely turned on by the "taboo" of what we were doing. I enjoyed myself, but as I drove home, I realized that it wasn't exactly the ego boost I needed.
Was it him? Was it me? Was it morality? Whatever it was, I wasn't ready to admit that I was going about this all wrong. So, in denial, I stayed.
He asked me out for that night, and I had to say "no," of course, because I already had a date with "Kawena," but I just couldn't say no and agreed to meet him the following night. I felt like I wasn't taking ANY of this seriously, but then again, I argued with myself, why did I have to take it seriously? Wasn't the point to have fun?
I met "Kawena" for dinner at Barnacle's. We sat outside on the deck, as the July weather was more than gorgeous. The first thing I realized was that he didn't look at all like I expected him to. He wasn't unattractive, by any stretch of the imagination. But all of the pictures he had posted were taken from somewhat far away, and he just looked different than I expected. Dinner, however, was great! Easy flowing conversation, no lulls, and constant laughter. I'll admit, though, that I felt insecure. Which, for those of you who have been following, is not like me at all. Was it my own insecurity, or was I picking up a vibe from him? I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Was I not pretty enough? Not thin enough? Not classy enough? Maybe I just wasn't enough of a Buckhead princess for him? I unconsciously found myself attempting to impress him, sitting with my back straight, legs crossed, and not being too open.
What was I doing? This wasn't me! I never try to be someone I'm not when I meet someone new. While I will admit that there was a part of me that wanted to impress him, there was also a part of me that made me uncomfortable to the fact that I felt unworthy to this man. He wasn't exactly "all that," and I had no intention of becoming pretentious just for his sake.
I didn't even have to try. He admitted before we called it a night that he wasn't attracted to me. So, the vibes I was feeling weren't so far off. Was he not attracted to me because he felt my insecurity? I had a hard time believing that, considering how many dates I'd been on. Reacting insecurely must have been a result of something I was feeling from him. However, my bruised ego needed a boost as I drove home. I needed a booty call. Damn, why did "Timon" have to be traveling this week? Damn, "Aladdin" was traveling, too. Wasn't there anyone else?
"Basil." I didn't even want to give myself time to think about it. I called, he was home, and I weaseled an invite over out of him. His place was modest. Half of a duplex. But he owned it and normally had the other side rented out. He offered me wine and we played with his cat. Too much time had passed, and my inhibitions were taking over. I couldn't make the move. In the kitchen, on a wine refill, he pushed me up against the wall and started to kiss me. My inhibitions instantly dissolved and I allowed him to lead me into his bedroom. He was extremely turned on by the "taboo" of what we were doing. I enjoyed myself, but as I drove home, I realized that it wasn't exactly the ego boost I needed.
Was it him? Was it me? Was it morality? Whatever it was, I wasn't ready to admit that I was going about this all wrong. So, in denial, I stayed.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Chapter 16: Is this something?
I had teased "Mickey" about the fact that he didn't even have to take me out to dinner to get lucky. And after he left that night, I questioned myself, my morals, and my own actions. What did I do? Hadn't I learned my lesson yet? Granted, I hadn't exactly been sleeping with every guy I'd met, but the countless encounters I'd had with no follow up phone calls and disappearing acts should have been a giant neon sign that said "GET A CLUE!"
But then my conscious went into a different mode. What was I worried about? I hadn't been totally sure that he was someone I wanted to get involved with anyway. I was horny, I wanted to get laid, and I did. It would be nice if he called, but if he didn't, would it really bother me? The truth was: not particularly.
But to my surprise and delight, he called. The very next day. Very nice - show a little class - points for "Mickey!" I think I mentioned previously that there was some drama going on in other aspects of my life, which doesn't have a whole lot of bearing on my dating world, so I won't bother illustrating it. But "Mickey" earned a lot of points with me by picking up on the fact that I was distracted by other things and wanted me to talk about it. I didn't really feel like telling him, and I never really did, but his consistent offers to listen if I wanted to talk, or even just to give me a hug if I needed it, were very comforting. I actually kind of liked it. Having a man be concerned about me, even making an effort to be around - WITHOUT the obvious ulterior motive of getting laid at the end of the night. Color me: "Impressed!"
A couple of days later, and I was still receiving a once a day phone call. It was nice. I was feeling particularly lonely one evening when he called, so an invite to his house was welcome. He didn't imply anything more than offering me a drink of a special liqueur he had recently obtained, and maybe hang out and watch some TV. Quality cuddle time! So I went over.
And that's exactly how it happened. We had a few drinks, talked, kissed, and cuddled. But I wanted more... and I let him know that. I needed to be wanted, and loved, and it didn't take long before we ended up in his bedroom. I didn't go over there to have sex with him that night, but it was exactly what I needed. And as I drove home that night, I began to question myself. Was this me falling for someone? Or was it just my desperation to have someone pay attention to me? He had some red flags that bothered me, and he wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, the man of my dreams. Was my vulnerable state of desperation setting myself up for heartbreak or, more likely, was I setting HIM up to have his heart broken by me? Was I just using him because he was paying me a little bit of attention? Or was this how relationships start?
Maybe I could just let this one ride for a little bit and see where it was going. Easier not to over-analyze it and let it either grow or wither on its own.
But then my conscious went into a different mode. What was I worried about? I hadn't been totally sure that he was someone I wanted to get involved with anyway. I was horny, I wanted to get laid, and I did. It would be nice if he called, but if he didn't, would it really bother me? The truth was: not particularly.
But to my surprise and delight, he called. The very next day. Very nice - show a little class - points for "Mickey!" I think I mentioned previously that there was some drama going on in other aspects of my life, which doesn't have a whole lot of bearing on my dating world, so I won't bother illustrating it. But "Mickey" earned a lot of points with me by picking up on the fact that I was distracted by other things and wanted me to talk about it. I didn't really feel like telling him, and I never really did, but his consistent offers to listen if I wanted to talk, or even just to give me a hug if I needed it, were very comforting. I actually kind of liked it. Having a man be concerned about me, even making an effort to be around - WITHOUT the obvious ulterior motive of getting laid at the end of the night. Color me: "Impressed!"
A couple of days later, and I was still receiving a once a day phone call. It was nice. I was feeling particularly lonely one evening when he called, so an invite to his house was welcome. He didn't imply anything more than offering me a drink of a special liqueur he had recently obtained, and maybe hang out and watch some TV. Quality cuddle time! So I went over.
And that's exactly how it happened. We had a few drinks, talked, kissed, and cuddled. But I wanted more... and I let him know that. I needed to be wanted, and loved, and it didn't take long before we ended up in his bedroom. I didn't go over there to have sex with him that night, but it was exactly what I needed. And as I drove home that night, I began to question myself. Was this me falling for someone? Or was it just my desperation to have someone pay attention to me? He had some red flags that bothered me, and he wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, the man of my dreams. Was my vulnerable state of desperation setting myself up for heartbreak or, more likely, was I setting HIM up to have his heart broken by me? Was I just using him because he was paying me a little bit of attention? Or was this how relationships start?
Maybe I could just let this one ride for a little bit and see where it was going. Easier not to over-analyze it and let it either grow or wither on its own.
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