Chapter 52: Not-So-Happy-Halloween

The next day, Sunday, I wanted to see "Thumper" again, and I called him to tell him so. He apologized and said that he had other plans, but would call me when he got home. I assumed he had plans with the other girl, and now it was starting to bother me. I began to think about the fact that I wanted more attention from him than he could probably give, if he was dividing his time up between two women.

For the last three months, I had been completely focused on "Tarzan", and "Thumper" was certainly a welcome distraction. But I couldn't just immediately go back to playing the field after having gotten used to focusing on one person. And I'm not so sure I wanted to. "Thumper's" constant attention, yet lack of commitment was confusing to me. I didn't need heart/head-confusion just then.

So when he called that night, I told him that I wasn't so sure he could give me the attention I needed. I realized that this was a subtle and indirect ultimatum, but he had so often shown me that he was an all or nothing person, and I had to know if it was going towards "all" or "nothing".

Never in a million years would I have suspected that he would have chosen this other girl over me. After all his talk about how I had captured his heart, he proceeded to tell me that he wanted to explore his relationship with this other woman. He said that they were so comfortable with each other, like they had been old friends for years. He feared the intensity of the connection between us. He suspected that we started out with so many fireworks that we would just crash and burn, and his heart would be broken.

So you're choosing her because she's SAFE? You're kidding? I would never give up the hot intensity of the beginning of a relationship! It's the best part! How could he so willingly just walk away from that? But walk away from it, he did.

Who does this?  Who goes that far out of their way to convince someone of a lie?  Thankfully, I got out early....

Chapter 51: Happy Halloween

Over the next two days, my email and cell phone were drenched with messages from "Thumper". If I hadn't been enjoying it so much, I might have been annoyed at his persistence. Therefore, I was surprised to learn that he was still seeing the girl he met for dinner the night he met me. After all his declarations and overtures, I couldn't imagine that he was able to spread that much of himself around.

He attempted to explain to me, over and over, that he was in a very strange place. Never before had he had two wonderful women interested in him at the same time. And, while I absolutely had captured his heart, his brain was screaming at him not to let this other girl go yet... That she deserved a chance to see what might develop, too. However, at the end of the day, he was still completely smitten with me, and he had no idea how to end the war between his heart and his brain. Maybe it was a false sense of security, but considering how much of an emotional person he was, I didn't think it would take long for him to realize where his heart wanted to be, so I didn't mind.  I kept it casual, and kept him at arm's length.  At least emotionally.  Physically, there were pretty much no boundaries...

We went to my brother's Halloween party and had a blast. He was comfortable with everyone, even though he knew no one but me. This was a refreshing social relief from "Tarzan", no doubt. He was affectionate, but not clingy, and I had a wonderful time.

We went back to my house after and made love again. It was even more intense than the first time. Fortunately, there was no more intense talk that made me suspect he was going to tell me he loved me again. But it was still incredible and amazing. I could get used to this. :)

Chapter 50: Perfect Evening

"Thumper" was on my email before I even got to work in the morning, asking me over for the following evening, a Wednesday, for dinner. He wanted to cook for me. How could I say "no?"

After work, I eagerly drove to his place, and was not only surprised, I was highly impressed. His house was impeccable, and his creativity for a meal surpassed anything I could have dreamed up. We had Yellowtail Merlot, and a spinach salad, garnished with walnuts, strawberries and feta cheese, topped with a homemade balsamic vinegarette dressing, and for the main course? Cedar-plank grilled salmon fillets glazed with a garlic-maple-soy sauce, and a side of honey-dijon mashed potatoes and sauteed asparagus. (Yes, we are talking about a straight man here!) He had bought some Key Lime Pie for dessert, but we never made it that far.

All the romantic gestures, the longing gazes across the table... I allowed myself to be swept up into the faery tale evening. I could just say that we had sex, but it wasn't like that. We made love. It was sensual, and sweet... we were exploring each other, getting to know each other on a deeper level. I couldn't remember the last time sex had been so intense. Or rather, I couldn't remember the last time a man had been this intense.

We lay there afterwards, and here came the tears again. (Wait, this IS a straight man, right?) Okay, yes, we definitely were connecting on an intangible and indescribable level, but I just didn't know if I could handle the tears at every turn. He talked to me with desperation in his voice, to accurately convey what he was feeling. He told me that I had touched him in a way he never imagined. I had his heart, 100% complete and pure. For a moment, I thought he was going to tell me he loved me. How would I handle that? I would not, could not say it back. This was ridiculous. I turned the conversation around to a lighter, more joking arena, to avoid the possibility that he might let the "L" word slip out. And it worked. Whew!

I asked him if he was free Saturday night if he would accompany me to my brother's Halloween party. It was a date, and he was already professing how much he couldn't wait.

Yes, it was moving quick, but I wanted to enjoy it and not analyze it.