Chapter 9: What is the best way to get over an old love?

Find a new love, right? So “Dumbo” starts contacting me through Match. He was a little different than I would normally go after. A little southern, built, not scrawny, your typical jock. And he was a jock... He told me he was a basketball coach for a large college here in Georgia. (Keeping it anonymous... won't tell you the school :-P) He also told me that he had a PhD in physical education administration. A PhD? Really??? As I've gotten older, I've realized that intelligence is quite the turn on to me! I realize, of course, that a PhD in Physical Education isn't exactly your Nobel Prize scholar, but a PhD is a PhD, and they aren't easy to get, regardless of the field!

We passed emails back and forth for several days. “Dumbo” was flirty, confident, and very eager to meet me. I thought it might be adventurous and spontaneous to try not talking on the phone first. We kept it on email only, and decided to meet one evening in a park. We ended up spending a lot of time kissing and very little time talking. Which, in reality, I had to admit that it was for the best, because every time he opened his mouth, he had the vocabulary of a 10th grader. PhD? You CAN'T be serious???

During this kiss-fest, I realized that I was trying (very poorly, mind you) to capture the intensity of the connection I'd had with “Tramp.” Maybe I was being a bit vengeful, too. Not that he would know it, but something, somewhere, in the miniscule corners of my brain, told me that if I could get excited about someone else, I wouldn't obsess over why he vanished so abruptly. But even while I was kissing “Dumbo,” I couldn't help but compare how great the kisses were the night “Tramp” came over.

Eventually I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I called it a night with “Dumbo.” He claimed he had to go anyway to catch an early flight to do some recruiting at another college, and he'd call me when he came back in town. Of course I saw him online most of the day the next day (early flight, huh?), and didn't exactly go out of my way to contact him. And it should come as no surprise that he didn't exactly go out of his way to call when he supposedly came back into town.

In retrospect, I realize that I was so desperate to find someone that would take my mind off of “Tramp,” that I didn't really bother to take the time to get to know “Dumbo.” Call a spade a spade. It was a rebound, and I would imagine that he realized something was REALLY off. But let's face it... His 10th grade vocabulary wasn't about to sustain me on ANY level for any length of time.

Lesson Number Seven: Don't romanticize the idea of someone just because they look good on paper. Do some homework, and listen to your instincts.

Status: Pretty well learned.